5 Rules for Diffusing Awkward Thanksgiving Arguments About Trump
Try a “High Ground Maneuver” and invoke the Great American Tradition of Federalism.
“A house divided cannot stand.”
Abraham Lincoln was thinking of the Republic when he quoted this line, but it applies to Thanksgiving, too.
No amount of stuffing and cranberry sauce can cover up the awkwardness that ensues when Uncle Jerry inserts a Trump talking point into an otherwise pleasant dinner. Next thing you know your nephew (the social studies major at Oberlin) is about to storm out of the room, and you’re sitting there impotently picking at green beans, hoping for the awkward moment to pass.
I’ve discovered a better way. Should you decide to engage, it’s better to be a uniter than a divider. But in a world of genuine divisions and all manner of (Fill-in-the-blank) Derangement Syndrome, you’ll need some ground rules to make it a productive conversation. [You may notice that these rules are inspired by my new book of edited transcripts — featuring some of my favorite shows.]
Rule #1 — Don’t get stuck in the weeds
Subtlety is as difficult as it is boring when it comes to political conversation. Don’t waste your time expounding the benefits of bilateral free trade, or how Trump’s temporary tariff tough talk may or may not bring about that arrangement with our trading partners in East Asia.
Rule #2 — Get to High Ground ASAP
Dilbert creator Scott Adams is well-known for dissecting the art of persuasion, and lists “High Ground maneuvering” as one of the best skills a persuader can use. Here’s how it works:
Say something concise that no one can dispute and then raise the level of the conversation to lofty principles of American governance.
Maybe you could say something like, “We’ve always had divisions. Aaron Burr killed Hamilton in a duel and John Adams once called Thomas Jefferson a mean-spirited, low-lived fellow, the son of a half-breed Indian squaw. The Constitution was written with our exact situation in mind. In tough times, we’ve always managed to come together as a country to defend our sacred principles of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”
Rule #3 — Invoke the Core American Value of Federalism
Once everyone is breathing a bit easier, you’ll have time to explain how the Founders saw this divisiveness coming and built a solution into the Constitution (with two amendments — the 9th and 10th — to seal the deal). We have 50 states to function as 50 “laboratories of democracy” to paraphrase the late great Justice Louis Brandeis.
If you don’t like Trump’s immigration policy, move to a sanctuary state.
If you think taxes are still too high, move to Florida or Texas.
As my new book explains, the main reason our political feuds have gotten so bitter is that the Federal Government has gotten so gosh darn big and powerful. It’s winner-takes-all, so we double-down on our team, even though more meaningful reforms can be made at the state level.
Rule #4 — Don’t Say More than You Have to
Ambiguity can be an effective tool. The more specific you get about policy, the more likely you are to say something off-putting to someone at the table. When making the point about the growth of the Federal Government, you can get both sides nodding their heads along as long as you don’t single out Democrats or Republicans. Obama grew the welfare state. Trump is growing the military.
Even though Trump may have promised to restore “Power to the People,” the actual mechanics cannot be a “giving” but will always be a “taking.” States like Ohio are taking control, and there’s no reason every state can’t do the same.
Let people imagine how amazing life could be like in their chosen state, not how wretched and degenerate they think life would be in the others.
[T]he main reason our political feuds have gotten so bitter is that the Federal Government has gotten so gosh darn big and powerful
Rule #5 — Close with a Patriotic Hymn
This is the equivalent of waving an American flag (very persuasive), without the risk of soiling it with gravy.
Wikipedia conveniently offers a list of more than 90 songs to choose from.
This may seem over the top, but I’ve done this enough times to know that you will have everyone (even the dog) on the verge of tears by the time you get to the last refrain.
Okay, maybe I’m slightly exaggerating with that last rule, but this is a tried and true way to save your Thanksgiving. If you want to understand Rule #3 better, you can download the ebook of my new compilation of transcribed interviews for just $2.99 (featuring Professor Richard Epstein of the Hoover Institution, Justice Clint Bolick of the Institute for Justice, William Watkins, Jr. of the Independent Institute, Cliff Maloney of YALiberty, and more).
Sign up for my email list for weekly updates about upcoming guests, and get the first chapter of Power to the States: How Federalism 2.0 Can Make America Governable Again* for free.
